What I'm Needing Today

Today I need 3 things. Faith, Hope, and Love.

Typically, I'm the first one to scoff at this phrase. Like it's soo last year. It covers every sign, every candle, every vinyl wall kling... pretty much anything and everything that stands still at either Kirklands or Hobby Lobby has this lable on it. Don't get me wrong. I love both of those stores almost as much as my kids but I do generally try to avoid the phrase while I'm purchasing decor for my home. I find that it's just a tad overdone and that kinda bugs me a little bit.

However lately I have found myself stuggling a lot. Spiritually, emotionally and physically. I've been making myself sick lately with worry and self doubt. As Caroline's true due date rapidly approaches later this week I'm not sure how I'll make it through. I feel guilt and blame that it was my fault that our baby didn't make it. Plenty of doctors have told me "its not your fault" and I just don't know if I can belive them. In truth it was my fault, my body's fault. I'm now scared senseless of the "what if it happens again". The failure to be able to give my husband the daughter that I know he longs for or my boys the sister that they would have loved and protected to the ends of the earth is killing me.

I'm struggling to understand why God wanted our baby back in Heaven with him. I know that God is in control of everything and that he has a purpose for everything. But, I'm having a time of it this week to stay firm in my faith and take comfort in the fact that God knows what He's doing. My faith has been so shaken that I'm having a hard time letting God take over again. I've spent wasted time trying to control every little situation myself lately that I'm making myself and my wonderful husband crazy lately.

So, I'm determined to try and get in a better frame of mind. I realize that none of our futures are certain and that God is the one in the driver's seat! Ultimately everything is in God's hands and I have to trust in Him that he brings me and my husbands fondest wish of completing our family in the near future!

I'm choosing FAITH in God, HOPE for our future, and the LOVE of my family!

I got a Hobby Lobby gift card for my birthday, maybe the boys and I should take a little trip the afternoon and pick out some new decor for our home... :)

Happy Valentines Day!

Hello all! This is Bobby, I have given Hill the night off for rest and relaxation. She is currently laying in bed watching TV while I sit here with steam coming out of my ears trying figure out what to write. I have always had a hard time putting my thoughts to paper while Hill makes it look so easy when she writes. I really admire the time and effort she puts into this blog so we can look back at all the memories we are creating every day.

This past week was our wedding anniversary. I still can not believe it has been 10 years! Time really flies when you are with someone you really love and enjoy being with. The boys have really added so much joy in our lives. They amaze me everyday with their unconditional love and silly energy.

I feel so blessed to share my life with these 3 amazing people and hope I bring as much joy into their lives. I hope all of you are able to spend your Valentines day with the ones you love most.

Birthday Weekend Re-Cap!

I have just had the best birthday weekend ever! It was a wonderful couple of days spent with loving family and friends and I am just feeling so loved and blessed right now... just what I was needing! While Graham was at school on Thursday, Grady and I went up to Bobby's work and took him to lunch. We went and ate lunch at Luby's which I have been down-right craving lately!!

Grady is just at that super-silly age where this is all you get when you beg him to smile for a picture!

My handsome hubby!



Grady and I went straight home for some big-time, big-belly naps after all that good comfort food! When I woke up I found flowers that had been delivered to our door step from Bobby.

The card read "I can not believe it has been 10 years. It does not seem that time has passed, I guess when you enjoy who you are with it makes time fly. I love you more and more every day. ~ with all my soul, all my heart, all my beans"

Bobby's card to me totally made me cry. I love to see that we said almost the same thing to each other in our cards! Bobby was able to leave work early that day and so we were able to head into New Braunfels and eat some dinner out! Yeah no cooking for me! We met Bobby's parents at the Longhorn Steak House. Also super yummy!

Of course we tried to get pictures of the family while we were there and all that I can say is that pretty much I give up on ever getting a perfect one! From now on I'll just be content that we are all looking in the same direction!



Exhibit: A




Exhibit: B



Exhibit: C



Exhibit: D Bobby's Parents (Omi and Opi to our kids!)




Ahh...Finally a picture where we are both looking straight ahead!

Omi and Opi were sweet and brought me fun gift cards and cute flowers and balloons!



This is the super funny balloon my MIL brought me. Oh to be one again... :)



This is the other balloon my MIL brought. My hubby thinks that it looks like the blown-up frog from the first SHREK movie!


Friday, one of my best friends drove down from Dallas to come and see me! Love you soo much Amy for taking the time to hang out with me! She was headed in my general direction but she totally made a several hour detour for me. We were able to see a movie on Friday. We picked " The Roommate". Yeah, it was completely predictable but still good fun! We took pictures together. Remember what I said earlier about trying to get good ones? I guess I need to give up all the way around...




You can not even begin to imagine the number of "more chins than the Chinese phone book" jokes were made here...




Still can't stop laughing...

Amy was awesome and brought her two little daschunds with her for our dog Crash to play with. They TORE it up here having such a good time together. Sometimes I worry that Crash doesn't get exposed to enough dogs and this is always such a good experience for him.

Saturday we had a great day at Graham's Cub Scout Pinewood Derby. I love love love that Graham can be part of such a great organization. He has learned so many new leadership skills in the 3 years that he's been involved! Bobby and Graham started working on his car a couple of weeks ago and their time really paid off! He came home with one 3rd place trophy (where he was separated from first and second place by only .100 and .200 of a second) for his den and 7th overall! Good Job Graham. We are soo proud of you!



Graham and his friend Michael.



Bobby working soo hard with the other men!

Graham and his Bear Den.



This is pretty much how Grady spent his time...eating and drinking!

Saturday night we went out to eat again! Guess how much weight I have gained in 4 days. Its horrible! We ate at one of our favorite seafood place, Sea Island. We met Bobby's parents again, Bobby's brother Cody and his wife Melanie, and Bobby's sister Stacy and her boyfriend Jason. Good thing that I forgot to take pictures while we were there. I don't think that this post could handle any more! I still have more stuff from Sunday to post on but for everyone's sanity (including my own :) I'll wait until tomorrow !

Hope everyone had a great weekend!



Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy 35th Birthday to me!


Isn't this just the cutest cake ever?? I love everything about it and if I was to get myself one this would be it! (Especially the number on the cake as it is a FULL 10 years younger than I am right now!)


This is what my cake should look like... har har har har har.

Don't get me wrong or anything, I like it when my birthday rolls around. Minus the changing of the number to that of a larger one (booooooo, heckle, heckle, heckle) its an ok day! My husband and kids are totally appreciative of me all day and going out of their way to be super sweet and loving. But, the most important part about this day is that Bobby and I were MARRIED on my birthday. My 25th birthday to be exact! That was, and still is, one of the best days of my life!

I know that I say these same things post after post but seriously Bobby is the best husband and father a girl could ask for! I love him soo much and I couldn't imagine one day with out him. We have been on the rollercoaster of life for 10 years now and have suvived every up, down, and curve that life has thrown at us! I can not wait to spend the next 50 (or more :)) years of my life with him!

Baby I love you with "all my heart, all my soul, and all my beans".



What I'm Loving Wednesday!

Once again this week I'm joining up with Jamie to do What I'm Loving Wednesday! I am in love with so much stuff online right now. I could spend hours just browsing thru random Etsy shops finding stuff for my kids, myself, my kitchen, you name it! I have also discovered some little online shops.

{1.}



Isn't all this stuff soo cute for a little boys room! My favorite are the rugs and the frames. I found this at Ashley Taylor Home. They have soo many cute other things that I totally want for my boys ...

{2.}Some of the next things that I'm loving are coming from...



Angela has the cutest stuff evah. I adore monogrammed things and this is the most perfect place to get them. I have a feeling that Graham will be giving his 2nd grade teacher this as an end of the year gift!

I just ordered a key ring for my self last year from here. She has some cute new designs. I'm thinking I might need another!

And for Valentine's Day I would love to order one of these for myself too!



Such cute stuff. Ya'll should all stop by and check her out. ( I am not compensated for any of this, I just really like her products!)

{3.}I'm also loving (and hating :) that tomorrow is my birthday! I love the specialness that comes when a day seems all your own and your husband and kids bend over backwards to make you feel wonderful all day long! Happy almost 35th (gag) to me!!

{4.}I loving that I'll get to see one of my best friends Amy this weekend! Her niece and I are just one day apart in the birthday department and since she's driving all the way to South Texas to see her she is swinging by to pay me a visit too! Love you Amy!

{5.}I'm loving that my boys got haircuts last night. They needed them soooo bad. So after waiting a hour and a half (yes I caved and went to one of those kiddie hair cut places) they walked out with amazing new dos!




Here is one half of the duo (and his freshly cut hair). The other was still sleeping!



And here he is bright awake! (Ya'll have no idea how much water and how much gel it took to get Grady's hair to lay this flat! Ha!)


Happy Humpday everyone!

How Sweet it is Giveaway!

One of my favorite blogs that I like to read is Stephanie's blog, How Sweet It Is. I have been reading her for quite some time now. I've been reading her blog since she was just a fun loving married gal and now she has the cutest new baby! It's so much fun to watch her adventures through life and motherhood.




Recently she is celebrating something new! She has hit the mark for 100 followers. This is something that I only dream of accomplishing so I can't help but add my support to her!! Hopefully someday this will be my accomplishment too and other blogging friends will help celebrate with me!

In honor of her many devoted followers she is doing her first giveaway.



This is a super cute print from an Etsy shop that can be yours if you hop over to Stephanie's blog and enter her giveaway! Personally though, I hope that its me that wins this!

Happy Tuesday Ya'll!

I've Been Living Under A Rock...



 I've been living under a rock er... maybe a cave. Whatever, I've been totally missing out on one of the cutest shows forever now! Last night when the Super Bowl ended, Bobby and I stayed up late and watched Glee! (Bless you my darling and awesome hubby that you actually watched a musical with me without complaining once because I had just watched umpteen hours of football with you). Sorry for the longest run on sentence ever...

They had advertised it I don't even know how many times on 14 different commercials and for some reason it just caught me that I should stay up and watch it. Maybe it was the fact that it came on directly after the game and there was no hunting or searching for it. No remembering what day and time to make sure that I catch it.



I have to say that Sue cracked me up the most!


Usually these situation stress me out. I get attached and then feel committed  to shows (especially reality tv :)) so easily then I feel guilty when I miss, then my DVR gets all backed up and I want to watch everything but just can't! Lately I've not been allowing myself to start watching anything new so I can avoid the TV stress. Crazy sad that I have that problem... But, last night I just couldn't help myself. After soo much football (sorry ladies for those of you who really like to watch!) my brain just felt sluggish and dead. After watching a couple of Glee commercials with their bright scenery and upbeat songs I just knew that I had to watch! I was not disappointed at all! I loved it and I think super secretly my hubby didn't hate it. This is a show that I will definitely be adding to my DVR list. I'll have to cut out TLC's Toddlers and Tiara's. But that's ok. That show stressed me out for a whole other set of reasons! :)