Sweet Caroline

Hi There! If you are coming over to my blog from Kelly's Korner welcome! I'm so excited that Kelly has decided to do this linkup! It's such a taboo topic and not many people are willing (especially those that haven't lost a child) to share or join in on this topic. Thanks so much Kelly! The loss of a child is just horrific and unimaginable that most people shy away from those of us in the awful situation.

(If you'd like to read the complete story about our precious little girl you can go here, here, and here. Her due date post is here.)

We had our first baby back in 2002. Graham arrived happy and healthy after a very uneventful pregnancy! Bobby and I were soo blessed to add him to our little family! We were so in love that 4 years later we decided that Graham needed a playmate and we wanted to add to our family again. We were floored when I became pregnant easily, saw a wonderful little heart beating at our 8 week checkup, but then miscarried at 9 weeks. How could this happen to us?? To say that the 3 of us were devastated is the understatement of the year.  We knew in our hearts that we wanted and needed to try again soon and were blessed a short time later to get pregnant again. Once again we were blessed with an awesome pregnancy and birth and were able to welcome our second son, Grady, into our little family! With two sweet kiddos around it wasn't long before my thoughts turned to adding a third child to the mix :). My hubby is the oldest of 3 and loved that they was so much fun, laughter, and entertainment around. I agreed with him! My boys needed just one more playmate for life!

My pregnancy with Caroline started off fine to begin with. It wasn't long though before I began spotting. Panicked I went in to see my doctor who saw her perfect little heart beating away! If you've ever had a scare before you know that once you see your child happy, healthy and ALIVE inside you still it is such joy and happiness like you have never felt before! Off and on after that I would spot. The doctors always said "that's just normal" and "don't worry so much". All the while I was just had a sinking feeling in my stomach the farther I progressed and as the spotting and bleeding continued.

Right at around 21 weeks I felt like I was getting the worst flu ever. I went into my OB's office to get checked out to be on the safe side. It was determined there that not only did I have an amniotic fluid infection but that also my membranes had ruptured  and I was already 3 cm dilated. During pregnancy and at only 21 weeks, this is the WORST trifecta of news that a momma can get. :(. I remember looking at the ultrasound that the doctor was doing at the time and seeing her still alive in there and moving around but knowing that later that day she would be gone.

I have to honestly say that this was the worst day of my life. Sick to my stomach, filled with fear, sad beyond belief, confused about what was happening, we headed off to the hospital to deliver a baby that would open her eyes to Jesus and not her Momma or Daddy.

I almost never share Caroline Elizabeth's picture on my blog. In fact, this is only the second time ever. I like to protect her image from others who don't view her with love, only curiosity. I feel really called to show off my beauty this morning though! She was such a wonder of joy and hope the whole pregnancy. She fought brilliantly until the very end! I'm such a proud Momma to her. I'm just so very sad that I will never know her this side of Heaven. 

I love you my darling and precious angel!

I also feel called to share that Caroline has a little brother now too! Sweet little thing is surrounded by all boys, bless her heart! We discovered during my pregnancy with him that I have an incompetent cervix. Surprisingly this never showed up during my first two pregnancies just the last two. I firmly believe that Caroline is the guardian angel over our family now. With out her perhaps pulling some strings with God we might not have had our little Griffin. He also arrived safely, happy, and healthy after 1 surgery and months of bed rest. 

We love and miss our little Caroline Elizabeth more and more ever day!

Homemade Baby Food

Over the past year and a half I have seen several blogs touting the wonders of homemade baby food. Two key things kept being repeated that caught my attention - easy and money-saving. :)

When Griffin started to eat at 4 months he started off slow just like most new little ones finding their way around a highchair. He quickly grew to LOVE almost whatever was on the spoon just as long as it was being put into his  mouth. This love of food quickly tore up my grocery budget when shopping at the grocery store.

Most single jar are around .80 - $1.00 (for Stage 1 food). Griffin was very quickly clearing 2 of these and a little oatmeal at each meal. At $6.00 a day with the promise of this number only going up in the very near future I quickly stated looking into making my own baby food.

My Easter gift from my MIL was this!

It's the Babycook made by Beaba. This is the brand that they sell in the Pottery Barn Kids catalog only my MIL found it on sale and scored it for much cheaper in a local store! (Ice cube trays and Ziploc baggies purchased by my frugal self and stuck in the picture because I also used those :) I really liked this system because I have neither a steamer or a blender/food processor. By getting this brand I get both all in one tiny device. I love to save space!

After some cussing, walking away to cool down, re-reading the directions I finally got it all figured out and began by making what I already had on hand, sweet potatoes. I figured that if this didn't work out well then I could just mash them myself and nothing would be wasted.

Steaming away! It's working!

While the food was cooking I checked out the little sample cookbook that came with the Babycook. Some recipes were hilariously time sucking consuming. I decided to go online and see if I could better, easier ones for a novice like myself. It was pretty funny ya'll. This is an example of what I commonly found...

Baby's Stuffed Acorn Squash - MEATLESS 8 months +

2 acorn squash
1 tsp canola oil
1 medium tart apple, peeled, cored and diced
1/2 small onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup chopped mushrooms (we leave out the mushrooms.)
1/2 celery stalk, diced
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp dried sage
2 cups cooked whole-grain rice (orzo or couscous are nice as well.)
1/2 cup dried apricots, chopped
1/4 cup raisins or dried cranberries
1/4 cup apple cider (or juice)

 Um what?? I couldn't help but to laugh out loud. Martha Stewart I am not. I will be sticking to things that are like 100 million times easier.

Anyway, moving right along, here is the semi finished product! My little steamed bits are already done! All I had to do was to dump them into the blender which is already a part of this product and viola! (See below :)

Seven full servings for almost nothing! I made this plus one ice cube tray (which holds 8 servings) for around $2.50. I figure I saved around $13.00 or so. 

Oh yeah, I got carried away and also did apples. Also ridiculously easy. I only had 3 apples on hand so this was all that got made :(.  I also did a jumbo bag of baby carrots and will be going back to the store soon to stock up on more! I can't wait to see how great the baby food budget will be once we are able to buy really good seasonal foods!

The finished product! I figure that I don't really need any fancy freezer storage system. 

This is what Griffin's meal looks like. Yummy right! :) Just a quick minute in the microwave (don't worry, I triple check to make sure its not hot) and it looks exactly like the store bought.

See I'm a happy boy! Thanks Momma!

March Of Dimes ~ 2012

This past Saturday we completed our first walk for March of Dimes! I would have done it last year except that I was pregnant with Griffin and was really babying my body at that point. We had such a great time participating and I can't wait to do it again!

Griffin was the only one of my boys that went with us. Graham had baseball pictures that day and Bobby took him to that. Grady went along with him because they also had a "fun day" out at the ball fields for the kids!

Griffin was a little confused by all the noise and hoopla at the starting area. He wore this look most of the time until we started walking and it got quieter. :)

This little cutie joined us too. Kassidy and her Momma Kim joined us on our walk. Kim is a distant cousin by marriage to my hubby. It was fun to walk with them and get to know Kim a little better!

This is some of us before the walk (Bobby's cousin Wendy on the left, My SIL Melanie, myself, and my other  SIL Stacy). It was a great weather day, just a tad bit overcast with a little wind blowing. We were loving that we would not have to walk in the heat!

Here is all of us before the race stated! (please ignore my funny baby pooch that was made much worse by holding Griffin :)

They had these awesome banners up that could be personalized with names. I of course had Caroline's name added. When we first arrived at the walk I stated looking for these banners. When I found their location I stated to make a beeline for them. Half-way there I had a mini panic attack and couldn't make myself go any further.I stated to get really really choked up and thank goodness my SIL Melanie was right there to grab my camera and get these pictures. (Thanks Mel, I might have forgotten to say that on Saturday.) My reaction totally caught me by surprise. I wasn't expecting to get emotional at all that day. We were all having such a good time! I guess it just goes to show you how quickly and unexpectedly grief can show up no matter how long its been. :(

My sweet Caroline's pretty name! 

The back of our shirt as modeled by Melanie!

Griffin was just happy that he found a tag to play with for an hour!

There were soo many people that participated! It was wonderful to be part of so much support!

Did I mention already that it was at Sea World? :)As we were walking a more "behind the scene's" area, the handlers for the sea lions brought one out and had him "bark" and wave to all of us walking by! It was seriously the cutest thing ever!! Sorry it's such a blurry picture, I should have ran up closer :).

We didn't raise a ton of money this year but it really motivated me for next year! We really spent this year just getting our feet wet and figuring out the ins and outs of the walk. Next year we'll be much more prepared. Watch out! :)

Wordless Wednesday

This post is alternately titled "Why It's So Hard For Me To Blog".

Our Week In Pictures!

I figure that the best way to get caught up once again would be to show you all the fun stuff we've had going on with the pictures that I managed to grab along the way! (Please pardon the 9 million pictures...)

My cutie that just LOVES to eat! 

Graham passing out palm leaves (fronds ?) on Palm Sunday.

Griffin was just enthralled with his palm! He played with it the entire service! :)

Daddy and sleepy boy after church this past Sunday.

You gotta love JC Penny's for passing out free bunny ears this past Sunday. The boys were excited to have them!

Bunny Boy #2 waiting patiently to see the Easter Bunny at the mall.

And Bunny Boy #3. He was pretending to be excited about seeing EB at the mall :). Did I tell you that last week Graham mentioned to me that  he" knew the Easter Bunny was really just you and Daddy". No mention of any other holiday figures were mentioned so I stayed quiet.

We tried very very very hard to get blue bonnet pictures this year. It was seriously a no-go. Maybe next year will be better? 

Griffin would not look up for anything. He pulled and yanked on every flower he could get his fat little fist on! :)

We finally switched to individual pictures and had marginally better results. What do you think? Would this one (or the one below) be blog header worthy?

I know that Griffin is not looking head on in this picture but I love to see his sweet little profile!

My darling Graham who complied instantly so we could "hurry up and be done".

My little stink Grady. He somehow managed to cut his nose in the bathtub the night before. I never could figure out how it happened. Only Grady could draw blood in an inch of water with and a small plastic cup...

I was delighted to capture this lady bug crawling on one of the blue bonnets!

My sweet boy at the doctor on Monday for his 6 month check up. He is doing wonderful she said! 82nd percentile for both height and weight. 38th percentile for head. He weighed 19 pounds and 10 ounces and was 27-1/2" long. His head circumference was 43.4.

He also got his first flu shot! He LOVED that. Not.

We had an extra yummy dinner that night so of course I had to snap a picture! :) Food is important around here.

I just had to grab a picture of my cutie sleeping in his nap nanny. He almost never does this anymore so I figured it was blog worthy. HA!

Griffin has also become VERY adept at rolling over and just has to show off his new skilz every chance he gets. No surface is safe anymore. :) 

Yay! You made it through yet another crazy post with far too many pictures!! I'm going to maybe have to do a celebratory give away. :) Happy early Easter everyone!

Praying For A Friend

Can I ask a quick favor of you all? One of my dearest and oldest friend Kim will be undergoing an IUI ( intrauterine insemination) tomorrow. She and her hubby have struggled for years trying to have a baby. They would covet prayers from even strangers if God would grant them just this one miracle!

The besties! Deborah is on the left and Kim is on the right.

I've known Kim since she was my suite mate during my freshman year of college! (ya'll that was a looong time ago :) With out getting into too many private details of Kim's life (I'm trying to get her to blog. haha), this has been a struggle for her and her hubby for many years. They have had many setbacks and roadblocks but continue to persevere on their journey to having a sweet little baby to call their own! 

She will be going in at 7:30 tomorrow morning for the IUI. No matter the outcome, Kim is and will always be an amazing friend. My fervent prayer is that she also have the chance to become an amazing mother as well!