Happy Mother's Day!

This post will be short and sweet tonight! I am completely all worn out from sleeping then eating followed up by more sleep, then shopping, then sleeping yet again and then eating again. Do you see a pattern?? :) I adore my hubby for letting me sleep so much and then feeding me...

Here are just a couple of cute pictures of my sweet boys (and their cute cousins) from tonight's eating marathon at my Mother-in-laws house!

Grady and his cousin Carter enjoying their ice cream!

Graham, Cooper, and Colton. Love these sweet boys and how much they love to play together!

Fun at Omi's house!

I know I jested earlier about all my eating and sleeping today like a Queen, but really its my husband, boys, and sweet little girl who have made me who I am today! With out them I'm nothing! Several times today it crossed my mind that its them that I should be pampering today. I love them all with all my heart!

Happy Mother's Day!

Salt and Pepper

That is the color that Grady is turning my hair...

I left the Living Room for I swear like 4 seconds and I come back to this....



When I walked in the salt container was completely empty and he had the pepper one upturned and was shaking into his mouth. What.the.heck??




This is Grady throwing me gang signs.




The clean-up left for me.  Do dogs eat salt? The answer in my case is no. Believe me I tried.

I can't wait to see what this weekend brings! :)

On Being Brave... (or in my case not so much)

I have had this blog post rolling around in my head for quite some time now. Words like bravery, leap of faith, and fear are also running through my head too.

I've spent a lot of time paralyzed with fear of what may happen this time around. Many scary scenarios have kept me up at night and sadly this fear has robbed me of so much.

Much joy has been taken from me and there are so many things that I find that I'm too scared to do...

• give this little boy name until he's here
• prepare the nursery ahead of time
• read any "What to Expect When Your Expecting" type books
• wear some of the maternity clothes I wore with Caroline. (lets just say the clothes worn to the doctor that crappy day and then the hospital will never see the light of day again.)
• buy any little blue clothes or diapers for Baby M
• no fun nicknames for this baby (Graham was Peanut, Caroline was Fluffy, and I'm terrible becuase I can't remember what we called Grady)
• thank goodness we don't need anything because I'd turn down any shower offers as well

I completely realize in the rational part of my brain that by doing any of the above mentioned things will not cause the demise of this baby. I just still worry about "putting the cart ahead of the horse or counting my chicks before they hatch".

After the loss of Caroline I now carry not only this sweet little boy but also the burden of  worrying so much for him and his livelihood. The best way that I can describe whats going on in my head right now is something akin to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I told my OB at my last visit that its as if my brain has now been re-wired to only expect the worst. I can't go into any checkup with out thinking "maybe it's this visit where his little heart won't be beating anymore" or "will today to be the day that I won't feel him move again". These are horrible thoughts, I know. I shouldn't be thinking these things, I know. This probably won't be the case this time, I know. But, right now as I near the week where things went terribly wrong with Caroline my head has lept into overdrive and my faith in God is loosing the war with the need to protect my heart.

I finally finished the book "Empty Arms" by Pam Vredevelt. It's a book on hope and support for those who have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth or tubal pregnancy. I did find it somewhat helpful. I only wish that I had read it closer to the loss of Caroline (but I know that I would not have had the strength to in those dark days). I guess what I'm needing now is a something more related to pregnancy after loss. Anyone have any good suggestions??

It's been pretty emotionally rough on Bobby and I these last couple of months. We find ourselves in the most unexpected of positions. Grieving the death of one child while longing for the birth of the next. Don't get me wrong because we wouldnt' have it any other way. I feel though, that for as long of a road to recovery as we have (and personally I feel that for me it will be a road that never ends...) we have made leaps and bounds. When we first started out planning this pregnancy we had pretty much firmly decided that for the first time in our lives, we would not find out the gender of this baby. We felt that maybe if we kept our distance from that little bit of knowledge we might not get so attached if something we to go wrong. But as we passed the scary 1st trimester where miscarriage is common we felt more comfortable with learning Baby M's gender. Progress!! As we entered the 2nd trimester and have several good reports in a row we decided to throw the baby a Gender Reveal party. Even more progress!! My hope for the future (and by that I mean past 24 weeks and viability, maybe even 3rd trimester) is that I find the strength once again and I accomplish some of the things on my  list above.

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

This week I am joining up once again with Jaime to do What I'm Loving Wednesday!

I love this time to get to share all the complete randomness of what I'm loving this week (or in most cases what I'm always in love with but thinking about right now!).

{1} The visit I just had with my Momma!



This is the second that my Momma hopped in the car at the airport. She was pretty excited to see us and we were pretty excited to see her too!



This is Graham waiting in the car with me at the airport. I had just told him who we were there to get. I had kept it all a big surprise!

Mimi and her boys the day that she left :(. My Momma looks pretty tired here. I wonder what 2 boys did that to her? :)

It was unbelievably fun having here here! We got to share the news finally with her that we are expecting Baby Boy #3. She was really excited for us! We ate a TON of food and had some really great talks. I love her soo much and can't wait to see her again!

{2} My PIO shots and my SIL Melanie!

This little bundle of fun was delivered to my rear end by this lovely and brave girl...

She will make the best nurse one day! I swear if I had to give a shot to someone I have nooo idea how I'd be able to keep my hands steady enough to poke someone. After coming to the doctor with me and watching the nurse do it ONLY ONCE the week before, she did it perfectly! It felt the exact same as when the nurse had done it and didn't hurt the least little bit! I'm soo thankful for this girl!!

I'm so glad that I have the option of taking these shots to give me an extra little "shot" at keeping this baby happy, healthy, and exactly where he's supposed to stay until I'm full term.

{3} these little feet!

I couldn't sleep last night (surprise surprise) and the only thing that I can think to do at times like these is spend a little quality time with God! I pray usually pray for friends, family and this baby. Sometimes I pray boldly when I get nervous about the baby and I ask Him to make the baby move so that maybe I can go back to sleep. It was during these prayers last night that I felt the best little kicks yet to date! I was soo thankful to Him for granting this small boon to me! I say this daily (and will continue to) but, GOD IS GOOD!

{4} and now a funny "love" after more serious topics... this movie!



When my Momma was here she suggested that Bobby and I go the movies one evening. For some reason there just wasn't a whole lot out there that we wanted to see. Both of us settled for this movie, but it actually ended up being really good. It had some super funny parts and great action scenes. None of it was as cheesy as I thought that it might be.

Plus it had these guys in it.... :) They're not too rough on the eyes... :)



The Rock





Vin Diesel and The Rock





Vin Diesel



Bobby pretty much laughed at me the whole movie!

I hope that everyone has had a great week so far! What are you loving today?

Our Gender Reveal Party!!

Forever now I have been reading blog posts about Gender Reveal parties. They have always looked like soo much fun to me! We never did anything special before... just regular ol' told people. Since this will (God willing) be my last pregnancy I decided to have some fun with it! So many times have I thought to myself "this will be my last time to feel this, do this, or experience this". I know that I can't possibly make everyone of these moments special but the biggies I'd like to!

A lot of my IRL friends already knew what we were having. The calls started the second I walked out of the doctor's office and I was besieged with things like "but you knew I was pregnant before I even told my own husband!" and "I'll name my next child after you if you tell me NOW". Having told said friends the gender of our baby, Bobby and I were able to have a nice, small, close family only dinner. We decided to do the traditional  (or whats becoming traditional for a newish party idea like this) wear pink or blue shirts depending on what you think the baby is and then we cut a cake after dinner and let the icing inside reveal the identity of Baby M (or Little G as Bobby and I have started calling it). It was all too much fun and I was ready for desert before dinner!

Here are some pictures from our little party...










Team BLUE!



Team PINK! (Disclaimer... the color of Bobby and my's shirts may or may not be the right answer!)



We had super yummy enchilada's, rice, beans, and a Mexican salad for dinner. To this pregnant Momma it was soo good!

The infamous cake! Grady was having a very hard time staying away from the cookies!! :)

I found some really pretty flowers for our centerpiece!

My sweet nephews Cooper and Colton and their baby guesses!

The boys had so much fun playing together before we started eating!

 I'm guessing that it's about time to reveal just how much this new baby will forever change our lives!

It's A ...

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Boy!!

Bobby and I could not be happier to add another boy to our family! The thought of 3 brothers growing up together and being best friends one day makes me soo happy! They will forever have that special sibling bond. We are truly a blessed family!! Glory to God!!

My super sweet sister in law Melanie (who was with me at the doctor the day I found out about our baby boy) brought me the sweetest little gift!

To go along with it was the greatest note ~

"I'm so excited about your big news,

Another baby boy is due!

Your days will be busy as can be,

Wrangling and chasing after those three.

You will be the queen of your domain,

And have more love than your heart can contain.

I got you some pink for your house full of blue,

It's nothing big but it is just for you!

It is so fun to be the mom of three boys,

Your life will be FULL of immeasurable joy!!"

I love Melanie's poems. They will always leave you feeling like the most special person because she spent so much time doing it just for you! Love you tons Mel!

Thanks so much for every one's sweet comments over the past weeks! They have simply meant the world to us! We have had our ups and downs but overall we are so overjoyed to share our most wonderful news with everyone!

17 Weeks And Our Appointment With The New Doctor!

What a fun and busy time this past week has been! I have soo many things to blog about and even more stuff to get you all caught up on! First off though, it's time for a much overdue 17 week update. Technically I was 17 weeks this past Thursday.

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 17 wonderful weeks!

Size of Baby: Baby M is the size of an onion this week. Baby M already weighs over 6 ounces according to our checkup last Monday. I'm wondering how much he or she weighs this week!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Can I just say how silly I feel every time I type the word "Loss"?! 'Cause let me tell you that that will never happen with me during a pregnancy! :) When I went to the doctor this past Friday I had gained another pound. I don't really take this into account. Comparing weight on 2 different scales at 2 different doctor's office's just doesn't seem right!

Maternity Clothes: Bring them on! I'm wear tops and bottoms in maternity while still hanging on to 1 t-shirt that still fits me.

Gender: If you really want to find out.... Stay tuned for the very next post!!

Movement: I still have days where I think that I haven't felt the baby move all day long. This makes me beyond CRAZY. Yesterday and the day before were these kind of days. I know that the baby is still tiny and it's not likely that I could/should feel the baby move everyday but my brain is still filling me with dread whenever I think about it. There may be a future post for this topic. Right now this is my #1 worry.

Sleep: We've been soo busy lately that I have fallen asleep and then stayed asleep with is totally unusual for me! I'm loving waking up feeling soo good in the morning!

What I Miss: Right now I don't miss anything but my Momma. (She had to leave town yesterday and go back home :(

Cravings: My cravings this week have been fairly under control! I can't wait to see what next week brings though!

Symptoms : Just a couple of Braxton/Hicks contractions but nothing major and being sleepy in the afternoon!

Best Moment This Week: It's a tie for this one! It is split between getting to see my Momma and meeting my new OB who I just adore!

I didnt' get a new picture of my self this week. We've been soo crazy busy that I felt like I never got a chance to stand still for one. I did get a bunch of pictures from our Gender Reveal party with me in them so don't worry, you'll still get to see me and the Bambino! :)

On to other news... I finally got the chance to see my new OB doctor this past Friday! You might remember this post where I talked about how much I was beginning to dislike my OB. After 5 long weeks, I was able to get an appointment with the new Dr. M! She.was.wonderful. If I wasn't married already I might consider her! :) Just kidding!

I really felt like for the first time I have a doctor that actually listened to me and validated all of my concerns. To summarize my visit with her she said that anytime I was worried about the baby in general I could come in for a heart beat check, anytime I was worried about the baby's amniotic fluid I could come in and she would do an ultrasound, and if I had any questions about anything I COULD CALL HER. Not her nurse line. But her. I know that these are just really general statements but to sum her up, I really felt like I was talking to someone who was a wife and a mother and who was awesomely enough a doctor! She was a human being (unlike the unblinking robot doctor that I had from before). I'm so excited about her. I finally know for sure that I have an OB that really cares about me and my baby and who will do anything in her power to get my little one here safe and sound!

The Momma Is Coming To Town!

Ya'll, my Momma is coming to town! I am so excited that I just know that this whole entire post will be filled with exclamation points!

My Momma lives about 5 hours away from us up in Dallas and I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving. I miss her so bad sometimes! Despite being 35 years old I still feel like I need her every day. I know that my boys sure do... Grady sometimes tells me "Go to Mimi's house" when we get on a large interstate near here. It breaks my heart for him that he can't see her every day or even every week. I know that this is really common in tons of family's but it still hurts.

I love that my Momma still "Moms me" when shes here (or when we're there!). If I'm sitting down she'll offer to bring me a cold drink or a snack. She'll take me to lunch, fold laundry, chit-chat, pretty much anything to make my couple of days with her just shine! I love that despite our ages she still wants to take care of me. To be honest, I love it! In my regular day to day life I don't let a lot of people do those things for me. I like to take care of business or my family all by myself. I like to be in charge. But, when she's here, I happily surrender almost all control ! :)

I plan on finally sharing our big BABY news with her too tomorrow! I will proudly be able to share with her the first time that I'm 17 weeks pregnant! I have yet another doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon with our new OB and I hope that she'll want to go with me. She has never been able to go to an OB appointment with me before (for any of our kids) so it should be pretty momentous!

I'm busy trying to clean my house now like a busy little bee! I know that she'll understand when things don't look perfect when she gets here, but I'd at least like the house to be a little bit more "fresh" than what I normally keep it!

Another reason I'm super excited is that I haven't told Graham yet. He loves his Mimi so much so I plan on picking him up from school early tomorrow and taking him to the airport with me to get her. I've been telling him all week that if he's good and helps me around the house then he'll get a great big surprise on Friday!

I can't wait to have tons of fun pictures to show ya'll from this weekend!