So if you fall into that shitty category of being in the BLM group you've had this experience or something similar to it. It's that moment that you just stop, stare, and then ask yourself... WTF. We've all had those craptastic moments of calls from your insurance company asking about the well-being of a child who is no longer alive or getting Huggies diapers coupons in the mail saying shitty things like "Congratulations on your newborn!" and you just want to shoot the people at your doctors office because how else would Huggies, Pampers, and Enfamil get you on their mailing list??
How is it possible to get slapped in the face so unrelentingly ? First you loose a child which is devastatingly enough and yet for MONTHS and even YEARS later you keep getting subtly or seemingly in my case not so subtly reminders of that perfect baby shaped whole in your heart.
If you will remember (I was going to add a fun link here but now I can't find that old blog post) my old OBGYN (who is the biggest
ASSHAT in the whole world) kick started off this phenomenon at 6 weeks postpartum asking how my dead baby was doing. If you are new to my blog (or maybe just don't remember) this is why he is no longer my doctor.
Over the past couple of years the reminder of my daughter's short life has been brought to the forefront in a variety of un-fun ways. (Don't get me wrong here ya'll, I love reminders of my daughter just the kind and gentle ones though...) Here is the most current shitty reminder.
How dare the universe (or whoever is responsible for this shenanigans) send ME and American Girl catalog with a little blonde girl on the front that is named Caroline??? When I checked my mail it seriously felt like someone had just poked me in the eye like 3 times.
Pretty much right after that I announced that I was leaving to go to a little bit of Christmas shopping.
Retail therapy is the best ya'll.