Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The GROSSEST Workout Story You Will Ever Read

Once upon a time, a very lovely but very {ahem} fluffy mother decided that she needed to get her big rear up and moving. She went into her closet to pull out her running shoes because she thought that the day looked lovely for a walk. She took the first running shoe and gently smacked the bottom of it to check and make sure that nothing was inside. (Ya'll in this South Texas fairy tale we have scorpions that like to hide in shoes.) Nothing inside that one! She picked up the second shoe and similarly smacked it like the first one.


Hmmm.


Something has fallen out of the second shoe!


The beautifully fluffy mother looked closer at the object on the floor and discovered to her HORROR that it was a tiny flesh colored lizard SKELETON.


::shriek::


OHHH, the dual horror. She didn't know what was worse, the fact that something had died in her shoe or the fact that it had been so long since she worked out that something was able to die in her shoe and then dry up to nothing but a SKELETON!


The End


Moral of the story: work out every.single.day  so that nothing has a chance to die in your shoe.

12 comments:

Kristy said...

Hahahaha. I hit my shoes before putting them on also.

Amy said...

You are darn tootin that we hit and shake out our shoes down here!!

Texas Mom said...

You are so funny! I better check my shoes for lizard skeletons!

Beth Ann said...

Horrifyingly hilarious!!! ;)

The Anglin Family said...

Oh ewwww!!!!! Yuck!!! ;)))

Tesha said...

LOL this gave me a much need smile :)

Candance said...

It's weird to laugh while gagging at the same time, which is totally what I'm doing right now.

Kacey said...

Fluffy Mother hahahaha!

Lisa said...

Love the story! Miss you friend!

VivalaVida said...

Oh my!!! I must remember to look in my shoes before putting them on.

KERRY said...

Oh gosh Hillary I am so glad I back tracked to this post because you made me laugh, I just loved reading this. Hahaha funny on so many levels!!

KERRY said...

P.S. Are they the flesh coloured lizards that had been hiding under that stuff on the stairs you both refused to move??

 
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