Our Trip to the Texas Med Clinic

alternately titled "Why I Didn't Post Yesterday"

I have secretly (and now not so secretly) been trying to keep a commitment to myself to blog every single day this year. Then last night happened. Graham has been fighting either really bad allergies or a small cold. Which one totally does not matter 'cause either way he was not feeling very good.

We had started our Friday off by picking him up early from school around 11:30. He was sniffling a little and wheezing and coughing A LOT. I had him lay down most of the afternoon before leaving to go to my sister - in - laws house to watch the Cotton Bowl.



Can you tell who we were rooting for?

By half time that night around 9 ish he really wasn't feeling good and starting to struggle to breathe. My son does have an inhaler (thank you God) but really only uses it maybe twice a year. I can not even begin to tell you how thankful I was that my scatter brain self remembered to pack it just in case.
My MIL literally had to pull over while still in the drive way for him to use it. He scared me soo bad. He started having a panic attack, doubled over and saying he couldn't breathe at all. We got him more comfortable and to the Texas Med Clinic before they closed.

The doctor checked him out and pronounced him to have an ear infection and probable strep throat. We were able to walk out with a prescription for an antibiotic and one for a steroid to help his asthma til he starts to get over whatever it is that he has. YUCK!

We were all so exhausted by the time that we made it home around 11ish. We slept in late and plan on having a very lazy day. And just 'cause its funny, I leave you with a picture of my SIL's dog Maverick who if you scratch in the right place totally will do an Elvis impersonation. And can you say "overbite"?



Aren't you cracking up at his super-cute aggie jersey too? :)

Love,

Hillary

(and just because I'm crazy like that, I'm gonna try and post again this evening to make up for yesterday!)

Before Caroline...

• I could watch TLC's "A Baby Story" and "Bringing Home Baby".
• I could read all the blogs that I usually love to read but can't now because those girls are expecting.
• I could shop at Babies R' Us with out crying.
• I could visit my OB/Gyn with with out having an anxiety attack and taking a Xanax.
• I could go to church, cub scout meetings, birthday parties, holiday gatherings,________(fill in the blank with a thousand other places) with out people gazing at me sadly and then whispering to someone next to them about me.
• I could feel happy all the time.

These are just some of the things that have changed in my life. Sometimes I feel that when Caroline died I was robbed of not only my daughter but my life as well. I go day to day knowing that my life will never be the same again.  I'm so afraid that until my dying day I'll never to completely happy again. How will I go the rest of my life with this pain, anguish, and sadness that may never lift??

Please don't get me wrong, I have never been more in love with my husband or my boys than I am right now. Sometimes they are the singular brightness to my day and I hate that they are stuck with a wife and mother that's only barely functioning for them right now.

Sorry for this negative post. It's just one of those rough days...

Love,

Hillary

Grady's New Buddy

Today we have a new friend come over to our house to play! His name is Jaxon and I'll be watching him a couple of days a week for his mom. I am super excited about this opportunity. It allows me to earn a little bit of extra income for my family and Grady has a great new friend. They are both 2 years old and its just too much fun to watch how they interact with each other!

Oh my gosh, it was soo hard to ever get them to both look at me! They had the greatest time. For Jaxon he was excited because all of Grady's toys were new to him. I think Grady had a new appreciation for his toys when he had to share them.



Doesn't Jaxon have the cutest face??



They boys both played together for a while and then apart once we got outside in this awesome Texas winter! I can not wait for Jaxon to teach Grady all his tricks (did I tell you that at barely 2 Jaxon is POTTY TRAINED). He has the sweetest personality and great manners which is so hard for little ones! I am so excited for his morning addition to our household!

Love,

Hillary

Mini Bathroom Mini Makeover!

So I got industrious yesterday and I started yet another house project. For a while now my husband and I have been working on our small downstairs half bath.

Months ago, we replaced the towel rings, towel bar, and faucet. Then a few weeks later we painted over the wallpaper that was in there. zmog... I wish I had a picture of that hot mess (think pink watercolor swirl - gag)! A month after that we pulled the old mirror off and replaced it with new one. I swear, this project has been dragging on FOREVER. And.I.Am.Sick.Of.It.

The last thing that we had to do to complete the bathroom was re-paint the cabinetry. We would love to replace it completely but that's a project

 many years from now with a much larger budget! So here it is after I had lightly sanded it. (I forgot to take a before picture :)



Here it is with 2 layers of primer on it.



Yeah! Its the finished product!

 This small bathroom was my practice run before I tackle the kitchen. I'm just soo nervous to paint an entire kitchen! The cabinets and the walls need to be done! (if in doubt please refer to my blog post from when I refinished my kitchen table). I think I'll move onto the laundry next for a little extra practice.

So yeah! As long as my house needs work, there will never be a shortage of blog post around here!

Love,

Hillary

My Undying Love for Hobby Lobby...

This past weekend my husband and I took down all of our Christmas decorations from our house. Ok, inside only...still working on the outside part :). All the same things went back up and into the exact same places but I was left still feeling glum. The house seemed soo empty and boring! What is a girl supposed to do?? The only answer that I could come up with was of course, GO TO HOBBY LOBBY!

I'm not sure that I even have words to describe how much I love this store. Since moving I've had rooms to fill, nooks and crannies to decorate, and wallpaper from 1986 to paint over! Hobby Lobby has come through for me in so many ways! Now if only they sold paint...

So off Grady and I went this morning. Thank goodness I had gotten a gift card for Christmas! So the first thing I got was a big wrought iron piece to go over my fireplace. Forever I have been wanting a really great framed family picture to go there. With the absence of our sweet Caroline I just haven't been able to make the call to book the photographer. Just seeing only our 4 faces in the picture feels like it will rip my heart out. Maybe next year I'll feel stronger or just different about things and we'll get one done.




Our temporary mantle decoration!



This is the complete mantle/fireplace. Pretty much everything that you see is from Hobby Lobby.  Its just ridiculously easy to find everything that I like.





I bought the Fleur De lis candles this morning. I had already purchased the tortoise shell candle sticks on a previous trip to Hobby Lobby (surprise surprise :)



I found this super cute key holder while we were there. We have totally been using the one that "came with the house". It's ghetto gold and says "KEYS!" I totally should have taken a picture of it too so you could laugh with me!



When I saw this box I just knew it had to be mine. When ever I see the word "HOPE" I immediately think of Caroline. I think that I would like to put all the cards and letters we received after her passing and keep them together in here.





I just really liked these 3 picture frames. I have been needing new ones and these will really work with where our living room is at right now and the big changes we have in store for it in the future! I can't wait for February to get here so I can use the LOVE one. Too cute!

So this is how I spent my day! I find a little retail therapy (especially when I'm shopping for my house) really takes my mind off things for a while. Sometimes I lament the fact that we are usually on a pretty tight spending budget when it comes to any remodeling/updating. Now that I think about it, maybe it is all for the best that Bobby and I take our sweet time working on the house. Its extremely therapeutic and we get to spend our time together side by side. 

Love,

Hillary

What We're Watching this Weekend!

This weekend Bobby and I spent our evenings watching 3 different Netflix movies. Rather, he watched 2 out of the 3  and I watched the 3rd by myself. Can you guess which one? :) haha...

The first one we watched on New Years Eve together was...



We had already seen this together in the theater but we had both really liked it and wanted to see it again. (And come on, who doesn't just love love love them some Jude Law??) This movie didn't disappoint a second time. It also re-confirmed how much I like Rachel McAdams also!

The movie that I watched this afternoon while Bobby changed out a ceiling fan (love you babe!) and the boys napped was...




I wasn't quite sure what I thought of this movie. I really liked the love story but there were several times that  I just ended up fast forwarding to get to the end faster. The reviews that Netflix posted for it were all pretty bad. Usually I'm not one to judge movies by what others say. Which is why I also rented this one...

How quickly can I say the word "mistake" cause that's pretty much what this was. About 4 seconds into watching this I actually started folding laundry so I wouldn't have to watch the rest. Yuck. If I have bad dreams tonight then I'm never allowing myself to rent anything over the rating of PG.

I think that I'm going to have to start spending more time evaluating whats in my Netflix queue and picking better movies. Thank God I'll be getting more on Tuesday! :)

Love,

Hillary

How We Started Out the New Year

Today we wanted to start out 2011 with some plain 'ole fun! Graham, Grady and I decided to head outside for some fresh air and sunshine. Graham heads back to 2nd grade on Monday so we are trying to squeeze in all the last fun days of Christmas vacation that we have left! So we ...



JUMPED!
Grady has finally learned how to jump on the trampoline. (or jumpoline as both he and his brother call it). He was soo frightened for so long and would only lay on it will other people jumped! Soo cute!



DUG IN THE SAND!
Graham's Opi (grandfather) brought this super fun digger toy over the other afternoon. The boys have both been obsessed with it! Don't you love Texas weather... green grass and playing in a T-shirt in the middle of winter. Ha!!



WENT TO THE MOVIES!
Graham and I went to go see The Chronicle of Narnia. This was a great movie. I've been trying to explain to Graham the correlation of this story and how it parallels the story of Jesus Christ. Its still a little hard for him to grasp just yet. As he gets older though we can re-watch all the movies over again with him and explain more. By the end of this movie I was just about in tears with how beautiful it was!



The last couple of picture are of Graham and I just being silly. I was TOTALLY the crazy mom in the movie theater taking pictures of her kid. Graham didn't seem to mind at all if you couldn't already tell from that great smile! The last one makes me laugh. Graham took the picture of us all by himself! Not bad at all. I love my oldest son so much. He truly is one of the funnest people to hang out. I hope that our special mother/son relationship like this can continue for many years to come!

Later this evening (and when I had completely forgotten to pack my camera) we headed over to my in-laws house for some yummy New Years Day dinner. They let all the kids run with sparklers and shoot roman candles off into the back yard. The kids were all wild with excitement. We then caravaned over to a close-by neighborhood that had this one great house where the lights are set to music. It was such a beautiful way to cap off the holiday season for us.

I can not wait for tomorrow when it will be nothing for us but a little church, a little nap, and a whole lot of packing up Christmas decorations!

Love,

Hillary