DIEt

Haha. I just love to spell it that way :). Humor about this situation  diet is the only thing getting me by these days.

So I thought that I'd take a moment and tell you what I'm doing, how I'm doing it and how I feel about it (although I'm pretty sure that if you are smart enough to be reading this then you already know exactly what my attitude towards dieting is).

First things first, I am doing what I like to call a Combo-diet. I have taken several dieting plans and meshed them into one that I think will work the best for me and my life-style. In a nut shell it is Slim Fast drinks, Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones frozen meals, and very sensibly cooked dinners and salads added here and there. With what precious little time I have right now the last thing I want to worry about it cooking a lot. I find things sooo much easier if I can just pop a top of a nutrition drink in the morning, warm up a frozen meal at lunch and dinner time and add in just a fresh salad to go along with both. I adore that the calories are counted for me on everything! Anything that I can add to my day that is labeled "one less thing to worry about" is A-OK is my book. :)

It hasn't been too terrible. The first couple of day I just wanted to cry ya'll but then it got easier. I think that I was going through food withdrawal. How horrible is that?? Truth be told though, I think that I might have had a small food addiction. Once all that past though it been tolerable. I realized that I was eating out of boredom and habit a lot of the time. I've been trying hard to pin point those moments when I feel the need to eat (at not a regular meal or snack time) and ask myself why? What is going on right now that makes me stop what I'm doing and walk to the kitchen. Once I think about it I'm almost always able to walk back out and away from the food.

After Caroline and while I was pregnant with Griffin I pretty much just gave myself over to eating what ever the heck I wanted whenever I wanted it. Grief combined with worry for the future with Griffin was sometimes just too much and food was the easiest comfort. I felt like I also had a free pass to eat like crazy with Griffin. After my cerclage was placed they had pretty much said that I shouldn't be restricting anything food-wise because if Griffin were to come early they needed him to be as big as possible. With that free pass in hand I did exactly as the doctors said :). It wasn't until 34-35 weeks that they said "ok Hillary, you can put the eating breaks on now". :)

It's funny to talk about the cerclage now because I am one pound less now than what my weight was at the hospital that morning (18 weeks gestation). How sad is that? I have a 7 and a half month old and I'm still no where near where I want/need to be.

Other things worth mentioning (and for myself remembering) I'm doing this because I'm only 36 and my joints are aching, feet are hurting, and I suck some serious wind trying to carry little Griffin up and down the stairs. Grrr. I shouldn't be feeling any of those things until I'm in my 60's. I'd like to be happy, healthy, and fit enough to chase my kids for a very long time!!

So, if anyone sees me not blogging about weight loss again in the next couple of weeks, feel free to shoot me an email to ask if I'm still on the wagon or not. I'm going to need some serious support to keep me honest! :)