The Forgotten Drawer

When I was pregnant and getting ready to have Griffin (and by ready I use that term very loosely) I had Bobby bring down our pack n' play and set it up in our bedroom. Griffin really had nothing set up in his room to speak of. No furniture, no decor, nothing really in his closet.

I decided on the day that Bobby set up his nighttime/nap time sleeping place that I should at least get a place ready to hold some of his little clothes and maybe some diapers and wipes. In my heart and mind I just wasn't yet ready to think of Griffin actually being here with us. I was still too heartbroken from Caroline's loss to actually put my faith into anything tangible.

That afternoon I forced myself to crack open my heart a little bit. It opened just wide enough for a little used drawer at the bottom of my chest of drawers. I carefully placed some little onesies and a couple of other baby things and then shut it quickly. God forbid something bad happen it was just a little drawer that could just stay closed forever.

We all know how happily this story ends. :)

The other day I had started a New Year's purge and was cleaning out closets and drawers. I happened to pull out Griffin's little drawer that had escaped my notice all these months.

Oh the joy!

My very sweet little "helper". He is most often these days my shadow! :)

And don't you just adore the very decorative football that I have staring at me every night. :) It needs to find a new home but I just haven't figured out where yet.  

My helper and his cute marker covered hands. He also brought his favorite accessory with him. A tiny car!

The little blue whale and crab sleeper on top is what killed me when I pulled open the drawer. It was the very first outfit that I made myself buy and it was also the first outfit that Griffin wore in the hospital!

Griffin with my Momma while we were still in the hospital.

That drawer may stay just like it is for a very long time. What once symbolized the great "what-if's" in life now holds precious memories.