Friday, June 17, 2011


"O Lord, grant us success. Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord." Psalm 118:25, 26

I have to start this post by saying once again that I seriously can not believe that I'm actually at the point of viability. I never thought that I'd make it this far though I've been praying multiple times a day to just get to this point. The day that we found out that we would most likely be delivering our baby Caroline into Heaven I prayed so hard to God and then begged the doctors to find us a way to get just 3 more weeks with her to give her a chance. It was of course a chance we never got. But, we have it now and for that I am beyond thankful. All I have ever wanted was just a chance, a glimmer of hope.

I've been looking around online and each site that I've visited has different percentages. Here is the most common ones though.

21 weeks : 0%

22 weeks : 0-10%

23 weeks : 10-35%

24 weeks : 40-70%

25 weeks : 50-80%

26 weeks : 80-90%

27 weeks : >90%

30 weeks : >95%

34 weeks : >98%

Some sites were more dire than others. If you visit the March of Dimes website they list a baby born at 24 weeks as only having a 34% survival rate whereas many others list what I have above which are considerably better results. I like to think positively and imagine that this little guy might be ok if he were born tomorrow but then again it's the March of Dimes folks. Who else would know better than them as to fetal survival rates! I was all sorts of excited to get to 24 weeks (and truthfully still am) but after reading all that I have, my next goal is 26 weeks. It's less than 2 weeks away now and look at how much better the odds go up!!

As I've crept closer to 24 weeks and started to have a little bit more hope I've started to actually look online at baby stuff. This was something that I've not let myself do until recently. I know in my heart that I won't order anything for the baby until he gets here but at least when the time comes I'll already know in my head what I'd like his room to look like.

I love love love the colors in the bedding set! I went very plain and traditional with Graham almost 10 years ago with everything being pale blue and white. With Grady's bedding and room everything was neutral tans and soft greens. With this baby I wanted a little bit more punch of fun color. I think this set does just that!!

It is very nice to know also that having two older brothers, our little guy is already stocked up on all the baby clothes, furniture, toys, bouncy seats, swings, car seats, etc. that he will ever need (and thus I won't have to worry about getting much of anything ahead of time).

Another thing that I let myself do yesterday as a small celebratory thing was to start putting all of our ultrasound pictures in a proper photo album. Before yesterday they were just being held in an envelope. :)

I of course still have some fear and sadness in my heart because I would love love love to start planning his name instead of waiting until he's here. I would love to order little onesies with it one there and find "big brother" shirts for Graham and Grady to wear at the hospital. I'm just too scared. I guess I'm just scared that I'll be "counting my chicks before they hatch" even though I know in my crazy head that the simple act of any online ordering on my part will not cause the demise of our little guy. I'm still hoping that as time passes and I get further along I'll find the confidence to do these things. And, if I can't and don't then it still won't be the end of the world. I will still be over the moon to have a healthy baby here and not have things be all "perfect and fun".

With all that random gloom and doom being said, I really am so glad that I finally have this hope creeping back into my heart! I know that we are far from out of the woods yet but I feel safe enough to start getting excited!


m&msmommy said...

Regardless of what the percentages are, God knows, and that's all that matters! :) (WAY easier said then done, I know! ;))

I LOVE the bedding! The colors are bright and adorable!

Have a great weekend!

Tristan said...

praying for baby boy!!!

24 weks..wowzers:)

loooove that bedding!

Bobbi said...

So glad you've reached such a comfortable milestone! It's just going to get better and better! I love the brightness of the bedding. :)

Jamie said...

I'm so glad that you're allowing hope in because without it..what else do we have? Your precentages are way high and I'm so thankful for that. I know it's got to be hard not to start buying stuff but I just can't help I have to think that those things aren't wasted things...they are still meant for that little life you hold inside of you and your boys will still know this little one and they will want to know what to call him. I know it's different since I don't have any living children but if I were you, I just couldn't help myself. :-) Do whatever makes you comfortable. Don't be afraid because it's in God's hands. He can lead you through anything and I believe He is going to lead you into a great future with all those wonderful boys. {Hugs your way}

Jayme said...

I hesitated to buy stuff after my losses as well. I didn't want to jinx it. I started with a little outfit and blanket that would be special for that particular baby because I'd want it regardless of the outcome and after that it seemed like it just... exploded and I started going nuts.

ccc said...

I love the bedding set you picked out.
I am so glad you have the glimmer of hope you have been praying for. God is good.
Hopefully the weeks will go by faster than ever and you will be at 26 weeks, and then 28 etc...

The Anglin Family said...

I'm praying for you and baby, Hillary!! I can totally relate to how you feel...:(( On the flipside, YAY!!! You've made it so far!!!:)))
And the bedding is super super cute.<3

Tara said...

I am in tears for you. I'm so happy you've passed such a critical milestone. We will be praying daily for you and your precious little one.

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